Why do we fear rejection so much?
At some point in our lives we have all been rejected. It hurts and we simply don’t like it. But what actually is rejection? Is it simply being told ‘no’ to something that we feel we really want, need, desire etc? Be it a job, a partner, having our opinion heard, our approach to something. In today’s world I believe that many people will also see a lack of ‘likes’, ‘comments’ or ‘views’ on their social media post as a form of rejection. This means that every day you could face a perceived rejection and that can have a huge impact on your self worth.
Suddenly you start spinning:
- Why wasn’t I good enough for that job?
- What didn’t they like about my appearance?
- What was it about my personality that they didn’t like?
- Wasn’t that photo of my children beautiful enough?
- Why didn’t they see that I’m living an amazing life?
- Why don’t they see I’m a good person?
And there you get stuck… what if it’s simply not about you at all? Everyone is going through life in their own way, dealing with their own challenges. We take everything personally and it’s exhausting. Maybe a lot of these ‘rejections’ were messages that you were following the wrong path, that your heart wasn’t really in it or that you motives weren’t true for what you were going after.
Perhaps it’s also time to start questioning why being told no is affecting you so much. There will always be a key moment in your life where you felt rejected. For some there may be a series of moments that have buried you under them. It’s time to separate your self worth from things happening outside of you.
A healthy place would be to move through the experience of rejection. Sit with it. What was that really telling me? You will need to be honest with yourself. Did you really want it or were you doing it because you felt that you ‘should’ / ‘needed to’…. ?
Living a life without fear of rejection is liberating. Let it roll over your back. Don’t think ‘I’m not good enough’. Reframe it as ‘wow, there must be something better out there for me, something that is going to make me smile, with more like-minded people.. ‘
Now wouldn’t that put a big smile on your face…
